what’s up?

Kamusta mga peeps! Medyo tagal tagal na din tayong walang balitaan ah. Haha! Ang dami ko pa naman sanang kuwento, pero saka na. Promise, one time, I will update you with what's eating me.

Ayun. After the tragic badminton racket incident, and after a dismal elimination round sa PAL Badminton Tourney, we unexpectedly clinched the 2nd runner-up throphy. Tomorrow ang scheduled awarding ceremony sa division namin. This is my first medal in sports, and I am so excited. Congrats Team Black.

Imagine, di ba nga sabi ko, pangarap ko lang naman ay makapasok sa semis ang team namin. Kasi out of five teams, the top four vied for the semis, and we were so lucky that the Team Jazz suffered to player shortage, so mostly default sila sa games, kaya we took the fourth spot sa semis, and eventually bagged the 2nd runner-up honor after we beat Bumblebee, 'twas our first official win.

Next time, I will update you with the complete details of our dramatic triumph. Haha. Feeling champions na din kasi kami. Will even post the congratulatory email nung aming team manager na ipinadala sa buong ISD. Will also give views on the current political, economic and social issues. Lastly sa mga trips and adventures ni Bleue. Hehehe. I'll be off to Macau this weekend for a thrill of a lifetime. Bungy jumping. Haha!

Sya nga pala, kaninang umaga, my parents decided to end the life of our dog per advised of the vet. She was euthanized sa clinic. Nahihirapan na kasi si Monique. Nakakalungkot. She was our dog for more than a decade. Hay….

Eniwei, I just want to share this video I made for Sherwin's party in the office before his wedding. Till next time guys! Thanks!

first time

Mood: Masakit ang ulo ko! Waaaah!
Background Music:  Ale nasa langit na ba ako?

Wow! Sa di inaasahang pagkakataon, nangyayari ang maraming kauna-unahang bagay sa akin. Basa na lang para malaman nyo kung ano ano ang mga iyon.

Nasa bahay ako ngayong mga pagkakataong ito. Sinusulit ang industrial leave na binigay sa akin ng opisina bilang "gantimpala" sa pagpapakamartir ko. Karerin daw ba kasi ang badminton.

Kahapon ang schedule ng aming team (Team Blackout), mostly from ISD, para sa 2nd round ng mga games sa PAL Badminton Tourney, kalaban namin ang Optimus Prime. As usual, in high spirit kaming lahat, dahil kinakailanagn namin manalo. Kami na lang at ang Team Jazz ang di pa nanalo, at nakakahiya naman na out of five teams eh kami pa ang matatanggal dahil top four teams lang ang maglalaban laban para sa semis. Yung Team Jazz ay magagaling naman din pero puro sila default!

Nakagawian na namin ni Mike na idepende sa outcome ng DOTA game namin sa lunch break ang magiging kapalaran namin sa Badminton. Magkalaban kami sa DOTA, suwerteng maganda ang laro ko, pero sya ay feeder! (Hahaha! Fish Mike!) So medyo nag-aalangan na si Mike pero kumpiyansa ako dahil maayos naman ang laro ko. Sinabihan ko na lang syang gumawa ng kahit anong bagay pangontra sa sumpa! Sa mga hindi nakakilala kay Mike, sya ay ang Chris Tucker ng Pinas! Ayun na!

Kinagabihan sa liga, ayun, as usual, kabado kami pareho. Magagaling ang mga kalaban eh. Pero sabi ni mike parang wala daw sya sa mood maglaro, pero kailangan dahil gusto talaga naming manalo.

First set, talo kami. Ewan kung ano ang final score pero talo kami! Pero may laban pa naman at tingin ko kaya naman namin. Marami lang kaming masyadong errors. Errors na paulit ulit naming ginawa. Dahil wala kaming kadala dala. In short feeder kami sa first set.

Second set, dito na nangyari ang di inaasahan ng marami. Nauna nang lumamang ang kalaban namin pero nagawa naming humabol para mag 13-12 ang iskor. It was a very intense game. Puro sigawan na lang ng mga nanonood ang naririnig namin at pasaway naman na mabaho yung court na napunta sa amin, ewan may kung anong amoy na nakakaalibadbad talaga. Pero sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon ay nagkasalubong kami ni Mike sa paghabol sa shuttlecock, at ayun naramdaman ko na lang ang raketa nya na nakalapat sa ilong ko at mata. Sapol ako ng isang malakas na hataw ni Mike. Ouch! First time kong mahampas ng raketa at masakit pala sya.

Nagblackout, as in black out ang paningin ko. Naramdaman ko na napaatras ako at nanghina ang tuhod ko hanggang sa bumagsak ako. Nang mga pagkakataong iyon ay hindi lang Lunar Eclipse ang nakita ko na nakaiskedyul nung gabing iyon,  nakakita ako ng hindi mabilang na bituin at mga bulalakaw. Hanggang sa maaninagan ko ang pintuan ng langit. Nakabantay si San Pedro, pero dagli nya akong sinabihang bumalik sa lupa dahil hindi pa tapos ang misyon ko sa lupa. (Ang misyon ko ay gawing kontrabida si Mike! Hahaha!)

Nung nagbalik ang aking ulirat ay akay akay na ako nila Mike, Jerome, Paul at Sir Noel papunta sa Medical. Pero kamalas malasan ay sira ang X-Ray kaya kinakailanganin daw na dalhin ako sa Cardinal Santos Hospital. Nung una, sabi nung nurse ay wala ang ambulansya kaya kami na lang daw ang pumunta. Ginawan lang ako ng report at binigyan ng paracetamol at antibiotic, saka pinabaunan ng mga panakot na tatahiin ang sugat sa aking ilong dahil malaki. Isa pa itong si Jerome, sobrang lalim daw ng sugat kaya kailangan daw tahiin. Hindi ko pinangarap kahit kailan na maging "scar face". Balak ko pa naman sanang tuksuhin ang isa pa naming kasamahan sa team na si Jason na "tinuli ang daliri nya", dahil tinahi ang daliri nya sa kamay matapos masugatan ng nabasag na baso. Ayaw ko namang balikan ako, na ako ay "nagpatuli ng ilong". Si Mike naman kasi, sa dinami dami ng pwedeng tamaan, ilong ko pa, wala na nga akong ilong.

Sa Medical, kitang kita ko na nagpapanic si Mike, ang totoo nyan mas dapat pa nga yata syang isugod sa ospital kesa sa akin dahil baka magcollapse na sya anytime. Haha!

Maya maya, ay suwerteng dumating ang ambulansya ng kumpanya kaya nakalibre kami ng sakay papunta sa Cardinal. First time kong makasakay sa ambulansya. Sinamahan ako ni Mike. First time nya din. Ang ingay pala ng wangwang. Haha! Nakakatuwa, although di ako kumportable dahil mauga ang sasakyan. Nagpiktyuran kami ni Mike sa loob. Mabuti na lamang at dala ko ang camera ko. Moment ko iyon. Haha. Sa loob ng ambulansya ay nakikita ko ang mga bus na bumibiyahe din sa kahabaan ng EDSA, ang mga pasahero ay nakikiusyoso sa kung sino bang nakaratay dun. Naiimagine ko ang mga sinasabi at nararamdaman nila, may halong takot, pandidiri dahil baka nakakahawa or nakakadiri ang sakit at pag-aalala. Pero ang nasasaksihan ng mga sumisilip ay isang poging nilalang na nakahiga sa stretcher na maga at pikit ang mata at may bad-aid sa bridge ng ilong. Iniisip siguro nila na nakipagsuntukan ako, kung sana ay napaghandaan ko ang mga eksenang iyon ay gumawa muna ako ng plakard na nagsasabing "natamaan ako ng raketa ng badminton at hindi nasuntok!", kaya kinawayan ko na lang ang mga umuusyuso. Okey lang ako, malayo sa bituka ito. 

(Heto ang hitsura ko after malapatan ng first aid sa Medical.)

Hindi nagtagal ay nakarating na kami ng Cardinal Santos. Isinugod ako sa Emergency Room. First time ko isugod sa ospital at emergency room pa. Doon ay kinunan ako ng Nasal and Orbital X-ray, nilinis ang sugat ko, tinurukan ng anti-tetanus, saka ineksamin ng optalmologist. Sabi ng doktor, wala naman daw fracture na nakita sa X-ray. Akala ko pa naman ay nadamage ang aking ilong at irerefer ako ng Cardinal Santos sa Belo Medical Group para i-repair ang aking ilong (Sayang!). Pero hindi nangyari iyon. Hindi na din daw kailangang tahiin ang sugat dahil tumigil na naman ang pagdurugo at nagsara na naman. Binigyan ako ng ice bag ng nurse para daw sa mata. Nagtagal ako sa X-Ray, baguhan kasi yung radiologist kaya ilang beses inulit -ulit ang pagkuha nung X-Ray ko. Hanggang sa naramdaman ko na na sumasakit na ang ulo ko. Sobrang sakit parang binibiyak. After nung X-Ray ay tiningnan naman ang mga mata ko. Natrauma daw ang right eye ko. May medical term na sinabi yung duktor na di ko na maalala. Humingi ako ng gamot sa sakit ng ulo, pero nalimutan yata. Gusto ko sanang tanungin kung may taning na ba ang buhay ko. Kung magtatagal pa ba ako.

Binigyan ako ng mga reseta saka pinauwi na maya-maya. Pasaway lang dahil kinakailangan ko daw pumunta sa Medical ng opisina ng alas otso y media ng umaga for follow-up check up ng mata ko. Para kasing gusto ko na muna na magpahinga. Mabuti na lang at dumating si Dencio at Resty. On the way naman ang bahay nila Mike kaya idinaan na namin sya. Salamat Mike! Wag ka na maguilty dahil aksidente ang lahat.

Sa bahay ay nagulat ang nanay at tatay ko, sobrang sakit ng ulo ko kaya uminom ako kaagad nung Mefenamic Acid na nireseta ng duktor saka umidlip. Bandang alas dos ay nagising na din ako na puno ang inbox ng telepono ko ng mga well wishers.

Kinaumagahan ay maaga akong gumising para pumunta sa Medical. Binigyan ako ng Industrial Leave kaso dalawang araw lang, pero okey na din. First time ko yatang mag-Industrial Leave. Sabi ng Opta sa medical may cut daw ang pupil ng mata ko pero magrerecover pa din naman.

Pagkatapos ay dumaan ako sa opisina, hindi para pagkaguluhan tulad ng sabi ni Roynel kundi para kumuha ng mga litrato ni Arni dahil magbebertdey na sya at kailangan ko syang gawan ng card. Pero dahil sikat ako sa opisina ay pinagkaguluhan ako! Hahaha! Syempre tamang pamporma, nakashades pa ako! Kinumog ako ng mga fans ko at nararamdaman ko ang galit nila kay Mike. Haha! Huwag kang mag-alala Mike, nasabihan ko na sila na huminahon dahil di naman tinahi ang sugat ko sa ilong at makakakita din naman ako kinabukasan pero ikaw ay color blind pa din. Peas mike! Ang totoo naawa ako kay Mike dahil kontrabida ang tingin sa kanya ng mga tao kahit ang totoo ay kasalanan ko din naman dahil bwinakaw ko ang bola, na dapat naman sana ay kay Mike. Pero dahil ako ang nasaktan ay nasa akin ang simpatya ng masa! Sabi nga ni Mike, sana daw sya na lang ang nahampas. Sana pala hinampas ko din sya after nya ako mahampas, pero dahil nagblack out na ako ay di ko na nagawa! Fish Mike.

Sabi ni Suzie, iniisa isa na daw kami ni Mike patayin, pero di nagtatagumpay ang lupon ng kasamaan. Inuna nya kasing pagtangkaan ang buhay ni Suzie nung nagrafting sa Davao, buhay ni Irene, nung nagtrekking sa Taal at ngayon ay ako naman. Haha!

Sa mga fans ko, don't worry guwafu pa din ako. Wag kayong magalit kay Mike, mabait naman yan eh. Saka di nya sadya! Sugapa lang talaga ako! Saka di ako iniwan nyan sa ospital. Peace Mike! Di maglalaon ay mabubura din sa isipan ng mga tao na minsan sa buhay ko ay pinagtangkaan mo ang buhay ko. Haha! Wag nyong kalimutan ang fund raising pang-repair ko ng ilong sa Belo Medical. Magpapass around na kayo ng envelope habang nasa akin pa ang simpatya ng mga tao. Hehe!

Salamat sa mga nagtext at nag-alala para sa akin! Wag kayo mag-alala, buhay pa ako! Sana makapasok ang team blackout sa Semis. Yun lang naman ang pangarap ko.

DESPEDIDAS

Nakakatuwa naman, puwede na mag-embed ng videos sa i.ph ngayon! Hehe!

Somehow ako ang naging unofficial music video creator pag may mga events sa office. Nung una enjoy pero lately parang hindi na ako masaya. Kasi kahit sino na lang nagpapagawa. Okey lang naman, kaso minsan hindi mo kaclose or kakilala tapos gagawan mo ng music vedio. Dont get me wrong, di sa ayaw ko, pero mas okey gawan ang kakilala mo kasi mabubuhasan mo talaga ng emosyon dahil may mga pinagsamahan kayo. 

Eniweis, sa mga di nakapanuod nung mga music videos na ginawa ko. Heto na, naupload ko na yung iba sa YouTube.  Here are some of them, to follow na lang yung iba.  Minsan I can't help but be nostalgic by watching these music videos. Parang kelan lang ang saya pa sa office.  Madami kang kaibigan, kaclose, kalaitan, katawanan. Those days are gone.  What you will see now are new faces and  what you can just do is sigh and ask yourself: "Bakit kaya nandito pa ako?"

MARIA THERESA GAMBOA

MYRA CLAVE

ELIZELLE HUNG

JAIME DE GUZMAN

CINEMALAYA 2007: THE NEW BREED

This year's cinemalaya is so far the most competitive and controversial yet the best and a big success. All competing films are of real international quality and a must see. In three years of the festival's existence, it was able to produce very good indie films and draw a lot of audience. A bright future awaits the indie film industry with these high caliber new breed.

I had a chance to see seven of eight full length movies in competition and my personal ranking would be:

1. Still Life (Katrina Flores)

A touching story of an artist deemed to lose his career and how his life changed when he met a girl who happened to be where he came from in a world beyond time and dimension. The male actor (Roy Canpinding) can be a potential winner. Glaiza de Castro also played her role very well. Unpredictable story. Deeply moving. Nice setting. You will bumped into some life's realization while watching the film.

2. Pisay (Auraeus Solito) 

High school life is indeed fun and memorable and this what this movie shows. It is about the various stories of extra ordinary high school students in a highly competitive school in a different era in Philippine history. It is a generic visual nostalgia of student's life, where everyone who had been to high school can relate. These students were so lucky to belong in time when the society calls for them. With great story and soundtrack, good characters and actors, nice setting and cinematography. No doubt this movie won the "Audience Choice Award" for full length category, eventually bagging the trophy for "Best Production Design" and naming the director Auraeus (Director of Maximo Oliveros) as the "Best Director" of the festival.

3. Kadin (Adolf Alix)

A simple tale of a boy looking for his lost goat and how he faced the world of grown ups. A modern day local version of The Little Prince and The Alchemist set in the backdraft of one of the most beautiful places on Earth - Batanes.

4. Endo (Jade Castro)

This is not your usal love story of happy ending. Endo (Slang for end of contract) is a revolutionary love story in movie that tells how love can hurt as much as it can make one happy. Truly, the movie is full of heart melting love sayings and quotes that can be passed on thru SMS. The actors played their roles exceptionally, displaying pure raw emotions and natural acting skills even those in cameo roles. Kudos to Ina Feleo for bagging the best actress awards for the festival for this movie. Great jobs Jason Abalos, Ricky Davao and Alchris Galura.

5. Tribu (Jim Libiran)

A brave expose of inner Manila's reality. It shows how some youth in the dark alleys of the city treats life and death. This movie boast of having unknown actors who played their roles effectively (they are real life Tondo gang members actually) that made them "Best Actors" of the festival collectively. It is indeed a very brave and different movie, no doubt it won the "Best Picture" award.

6. Ligaw Liham (Jay Abello)

This movie takes us back in 1970's in Negros. A funny love story of dreaming and wishful thinking. This movie can brag their realistic recreation of a 1970 settings.

7. Gulong (Sockie Fernandez)

A story of friendship, a simple life of a child and love. With great cinematography and music. It is a film for children of all ages.

lost medallion

When I was still a kid, I always hear my mother ask, “kaylan kaya ako makakaakyat sa stage? (when will I go up the stage),” referring to the stage at a commencement exercise. She always dreamed of marching in the aisle of a grand auditorium, going up the stage, and pinning a medal to any of her children.

Neither once nor twice that I heard her throw the question in a sweet voice. Neither once nor twice that I also heard my older siblings say that she can always go up at any stage, at any time of any day. Mother will only return a sigh.

I was in elementary then and just learning my abc’s and 123’s. My mom, having kids going to school dreamed of what every proud parent would like to have - a child with school honors, a medal she can brag… a source of pride.

I finished my elementary being in the upper ten percent of the graduating class. I belong to a class second only to the cream of the crop. But my proud parents and relatives were saying that I am smart. I didn’t believe them; instead, I always give them a frown. I found it cheesy back then to swank what I thought was not meant for bragging.

Among us, five siblings, they say I am the brightest. I belong to higher sections throughout my elementary days, even made it to the first section when I was in third grade, landed in the top ten in grade two and almost bring home honors in grade four, why almost, is another long story.

Closest to me, they say being the brightest is my older sister who held presidency of an average class in high school and was a teacher’s pet. She speaks and composes good English, far better than I am, but suffers in math. I, on the other hand, successfully balanced every subject with no failing grades, not even line of seven, since I stepped in formal schooling. With that my mom, was so happy.

Her hopes were slowly fading since my older siblings were showing no signs of fulfilling her dream, until I entered secondary education being in the top class, she was elated.

The first half of my high school was a slow start. I didn’t show any sign of excelling in this class of elementary valedictorians, salutatorians and top honors. Never in my wildest imagination that I thought of competing with their intellect. They are too bright for me. Nevertheless, I managed to become an associate editor of our school newsletter and was given an opportunity to publish some of my works.

The greatest turn around of my high schooling happened on its last half. During my third year, things transpired unexpectedly. As Coelho said, as if all the universe conspired while everything around me all fell in their proper places. I placed sixth over all on the first quater. During a parents meeting, I saw my mom very elated seing my name listed as one of the top in the class. I've noticed a spark of hope that soon she will be able to pin a medal to one of her children at last. I just watched her in the background while in awe and weird embarassment. Never did I expected to land in the top. The feeling that I offended my other classmates by overtaking them in the race of class honors enveloped me.

After the meeting, I didn't spend time with my mom. I didn't even show my face to her. I just watched her from a distance while leaving the campus. I felt a bit of happiness and sadness. Happiness for making her proud as a mother. Sadness for I know she wanted to spend that happiness with me, that she wanted to hug me that very moment while announcing to the entire universe that I am her son and I managed to get a place on top… but I wasn't there when she was looking at me, I wasn't there. I was hiding.

In our class, I felt the tension. Tension that was overpowered by friendship. We were all shocked but managed to composed ourselves and congratulated those who should be. When the school year ended, I landed on seventh and awarded in the end as one of the school achievers.

Came the last stretch of high school life and I maintained my position. I even named as "Assistant Editor" of our school organ in Filipino - the "Ang Tambuli", the oldest Filipino school newspaper. I managed to represent the school in some contest and brought honors. I was one of the low profile campus figures. Thinking about it, everything happened unexpectedly. But the idea of bringing home a medal in the end is still not sinking in my mind. I was a mediocre student in elementary, now competing with top students.  Oh well, perhaps I was one of the so called "Late Bloomers".

Few days before the commencement exercise, our school principal called us to her office. With me was my eight other classmates in a special science class (the top and brilliant class of my batch) and two from the regular section. That was the moment of truth. The moment we've all been waiting for. One by one, the school principal announced our names and honors..At last, my mother's dream finally came to reality. I was awarded the Sevent Honorable Mention.

It was a mixed emotions of frustration, relief and happiness.

Frustration because we felt betrayed by our own alma mater for giving the highest honor on a regular student, who technically speaking, belongs to the fifth section over all… being in a special science class, we were the first section over all. Relief because finally, I finished high school and in flying colors. Happiness because I know, I will make my parents, most especially my mom, proud. Her dream of going up the stage will finally come to reality.

But instead of bragging to my parents the honor I received, I decided to stay quiet and keep it in secrecy until the graduation day. No one in my family knew what I just achieved. No one. Not until the final day that the once elusive medallion will finally be put on my neck.

Graduation day. The day  that was supposed to be my mother's dream will come true. I was wearing a new polo shirt specially made by my mom for my graduation. My parents and my eldest brother accompanied me to the Folk Arts Theater without any words whatsoever of that medallion. I told my parents that I need someone to accompany me since it is required for all students in our special class. My mom asked my dad to be with me.

"The Seventh honorable Mention is awarded to…."

Me and my dad walked to the stage. They handed that medallion to my dad, and he put it on my neck. 

That was it. That was the moment my mom was waiting for so long. I believe I was the only one in that grand auditorium who reserved the right for parents to know the achievement their child received until the final day of ceremony. I saw the shock and happiness in my father's face. In my mind that time, was to let the day pass and get over it. It was just a metal. Just an ordinary metal hanging on my neck. I put it off when I returned to my seat, placed it on its box and handed it to my father seating behind me, while the other honor recepients walked up the stage, most with their mom, some with both their father and mother.

My abnormality did not end there. After the ceremony, I told my parents that I will not be able to go home with them since we have a party. I turned down a supposed family moment and decided to be with my classmates. We hanged out till midnight without thinking of my family…. of my parents…. of my mom. Later did I know that they celebrated on their own. They celebrated my victory without my presence… only with that piece of metal. The truth was, I felt ashamed. I am not used to being the center of family attention. I am not used to bragging and receiving flaterring words. I preffered to be a low profile. I love it that way.

The next morning, I didn't hear any words or discussions about my accomplishment. Well not with my presence. But I know they talked about it when I was not around. I know they were happy. But deep inside my mom's heart, I felt her sadness, I felt the pain and frustration… Her words echoed to my ears once more… "Kelan kaya ako makakaakyat ng stage?" And I felt bad. Really bad.

I deprived my mom of her dream. I deprived her of that very moment she always wanted to be in. I denied her wish to conquer the stage. I was selfish.

For me, that medallion was just a piece of metal. For her it was a bar of gold.

I regret that day.  

If there is one moment in my lifetime that I wanted to change, that was the moment I was on the stage. 

Never again did I hear my mom said "Kelan kaya ko makakaakyat sa stage?"

Ten years after, I remembered the medallion, but I can't find it anymore. 

I am sorry mom.